I would wish for God to send me someone to love.  I know it's selfish... and a little corny, but it's what I want...  I want someone to share my heart with.  I have plenty of friends and a HUGE family... so I know I am loved, but I want to fall in love.  I'm a hopeless romantic.  I know things don't always happen the way they do in movies or in books, but one can dream, right?

Everything!  I'm truly blessed.  I've battled with depression for as long as I can remember.  I've been through things should've killed me...physically, emotionally and mentally... but I've survived.  I'm still going.  I thank God for giving me strength, patience and a loving family.  I'm thankful for the many talents I've been blessed with... some that are developing slowly, and some that I've yet to discover.  I'm thankful for being healthy - otherwise I couldn't work as hard and as much as I do.  I hope that this year I remember how blessed I am.  I keep several journals, but my favorite is my happy journal.  I fill it with happy thoughts and things that I'm grateful for.  That way, when I'm having a bad day, I can look at all the things I've been blessed with... it helps put things into perspective.

I'm still in the process of learning... but I'm learning how to identify and grade diamonds.  It reminds me a lot of editing.  You look at it from afar and you don't see the flaws.  You see the beauty... the craftsmanship.  You look closely, you see all the little inclusions you might never have known were there.  I have an eye for it.  (Although, it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life... it's something I'm grateful I've gotten to learn.  It's a skill that not everyone has.)

The last thing I've learned emotionally is: don't date your friends.  Life's not like the movies.  In real life Harry and Sally don't end up together... she never gets the tearjerking speech: "I love that you're the first person I want to talk to when i wake up, and the last person I want to see before I go to bed...."

The last thing I've learned spiritually is: four walls and a roof do not make a church.  You don't have to go every Sunday to be spiritual and let God in your heart.

Wow!  Now I know I'm not alone in this... I, like so many others out there, have a hard time asking for help.

I'm stubborn.... to a fault.  I don't like to admit that I can't do something on my own.  I'm a woman... and a small one at that... I always feel like I have to prove myself.   I feel like asking for help just sets me back.  Do you know how embarassing it is to kick a guys butt in pool, and then turn around and have to ask for help changing a tire? - well... neither do I.... I know how to change my own tire... :)

Besides being stubborn... I'm independent, and a control freak.  "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself."  I kind of live by this saying...  But worse than asking for help is when you ask for help and you don't get it... that REALLY makes my blood boil.  So... most of the time I'd rather not ask... but I know we all need a little help every once in a while...

Love.  It's easier to be loved than to love.  I have a really hard time letting my guard down long enough to love anyone outside of my own family... honestly, there are some inside my family I have trouble loving....

For me to love someone, I must first trust them... respect them... and want their love.  I have a hard time loving someone if I don't know they love me back... although love should be unconditional, I believe that it should be reciprocal.

What if you give love away, and don't get it back?  Do you think that we can ran out of love?  I guess it's a private fear... that my heart will get broken, and never get repaired...  That I will give away my love, and have none left for myself.... 

People.  I know that all people are different... but I always thought that deep down, all people were good.  We all get the same warnings: don't go anywhere with strangers... don't take candy from strangers... don't talk to strangers...  Our parents warn us for good reason.  I could never imagine hurting a child.... yet there are people out there that do it.  Sure, I have my issues with anger, but I would never kill someone.... yet people do.  That totally baffles me! 

I've loved scary movies for as long as I can remember... I love the way your adrenaline starts pumping as you're trying to escape the bad guy...  But I always knew that it wasn't real.  I watched the news.... and although i know it IS real... I file it away in the back of my head with the rest of the scary movies... it just doesn't seem possible.  It breaks my heart...

Somebody PLEASE tell me what happened to journalism??  I remember studying in school... and a LOT of journalists should be out of a job by now!  ...in fact, there should be hardly any left.

One of my favorite things to learn about in school were the laws and ethics pertaining to journalism.  It's called "libel."  If it's not true, you don't print it!  Look on the magazine racks... rumored fights, break-ups, pregnancies, and "unnamed sources."  That's not journalism!!!  You don't quote a source unless you have a name.  Otherwise, what's to stop someone from making up a quote and saying: "says a source close to the couple...."? 

It seems that most reporters today use scare tactics and sensationalism to attract readers.  That sickens me.  Remember when gas in GA went up to almost $5 a gallon?  There was no gas shortage until the news reported there was... when the entire state of Georgia rushed to the pumps to make sure they had a full tank of gas, that's when a gas shortage was created.  Employees of both Quiktrip and BP told me gas was delivered on a regular basis, but when people panicked and drained the pumps the deliveries just couldn't catch up.

It seems to me if there is no news, people just start making up stuff... or they create news by scaring consumers.  Honestly, it breaks my heart.  It's something I love - bringing information to the masses.  Journalism used to be about unmasking the truth... getting to the bottom of a story.  Now it's all about making a deadline.  Doesn't anybody check the facts?   

I love to write.... but it seems as though journalism is a dying art.  Someday I hope to be able to bring some integrity back to the profession.  If I don't become a reporter or an editor, I'd like to teach journalism... maybe the next generation can bring it back to where it used to be.

How would you know happiness if you've never experienced pain?  Would one exist without the other?

We've all heard the saying: "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."  The reason that saying is so well known is because it's true.  If you pay attention, there is a lot to be learned from pain.

Personally, I've learned:  I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was.  A broken heart won't kill you... although it may feel as though it should.  I've learned how to identify other people in pain... and how to be sensitive to their feelings.  I've learned that physical pain can distract you from emotional pain - but they both leave pretty ugly scars.  And I've learned that you don't have to suffer alone.... or in silence. 

When I'm in (emotional) pain, I've learned to take the day from moment to moment.  Sometimes thinking in terms of a whole day is a little overwhelming... and I remind myself: This too shall pass.

I hate money!  I wish we could go back to the days when people bartered for what they needed.  "Hey, I cut hair... you fix plumbing... I'll give you 3 haircuts if you fix my leaky faucet..." 

I worked for years in the restuarant business, so I got used to being paid on a daily basis... in cash.  Now, I have 2 jobs.  My day job only pays me once a month, my night job pays me once a week... it's been an adjustment, but I've finally learned how to budget.  Of course, as soon as I get my finances in order, I get a pretty devastating pay cut... right before I have to move.  It's gonna be tough, but I'm thankful.  Some people don't have a job, and I have two.