Ok... this is a little embarassing, but when I was a child I had a very active imagination.  I was (and to this day still am) a bit of a nerd.  I loved going to school!  I loved it so much that when I came home I would pretend I was still there.  I'd line up my dolls and stuffed animals and pretend that they were students in my class.  I knew who the class clowns and slackers were, and I was determined that they wouldn't act up in my class - I'd be firm!  I'd lecture them on the importance of being on time and paying attention when the teacher is talking... My big brother thought it was hilarious!

Now that I'm a "grown up," I still want to be a teacher.  Kids spend almost as much time in school as they do at home.  I believe that it's important for kids to have adults that they can look up to.  I think everyone needs someone who believes in them - I want to be that person.  I want to push them and bring out the best in them... and I'm sure by doing so, they'll do they same for me.

Actually I do play.  I play the flute and the picolo, so I know how to read music.  I can also play the trumpet (not extremely well though), the saxophone and the clarinet.  I would LOVE to know how to play the piano.  I think it's beautiful... and at times can be haunting...

Right now I'm learning how to play the guitar.  I have little hands, so it's not easy!!  My...friend is building me a guitar for my birthday! :)  It's not finished yet, but I've seen the beginnings and it's absolutely amazing!  Gibson Les Paul style body... blue :)  I only know how to play two songs (on an acoustic) so now I HAVE to learn how to play.  Can't let such a beautiful gift go to waste!

Pain... sadness.  I just found out, not ten minutes ago that a friend passed away.  I know that I should be rejoicing - she's in heaven now and no longer in pain... but I'm selfish.  I want her here!!  I know that God has a plan for everyone... but how could he take someone so young? so full of life?  I'm having trouble accepting it.

She was a loving wife and mother and was active in the church.  I'm angry... and sad... and terrified!  I feel like the world should be stopping... but it's not.  I'm angry that her son has to grow up not knowing his mother... I'm heartbroken that her parents lost their only child...  I'm terrified because death comes for us all...regardless of sex or race or age or how good someone's heart is.  If God could claim her life so early, what chance does a sinner like me have??  Why her?  Why not me?  I have no children... no husband... I'm no where near where she was spiritually.

I want to wrap myself in my sorrow and disappear until the pain stops.  I'm searching for answers I will never get...  I'm searching for some level of understanding - some meaning in this tragedy.

I understand that life is precious... we only get one.  I try to live my life to the fullest... and will continue to do so with Amanda in my heart.

God bless,
*Mona*

Recently me and a couple of my girlfriends have decided to have a dating strike.  ...I know, sounds kinda lame.. but until conditions improve in the dating world, I'm just not doing it anymore. 

Just because I'm independent and driven, doesn't give guys the right to stop trying!  If you ask a girl out, you need to pick her up!  ...not meet her at the theater or at the restaurant.  Vaccuum your car, take a shower, put on a clean shirt and put some gel in your hair!  What's that take?  30 minutes?  45 minutes? 

When I get ready for a date, I go all out.  I get my eyebrows waxed, paint my fingernails and toenails, deep condition and straighten my hair, wear a dress and high heels, get the makeup done, moisturize... that's half a day's worth of preparation!  ...and for what?  So I can meet a guy at the theater that looks like he just rolled out of bed?!  No thanks.

I hate to say it... but I think chivalry is dead.  It's not that we need it... but it's nice to have.  It makes me feel like a princess when a guy opens doors and pulls out my chair for me... pays me a (genuine) compliment...  The last time a guy showed up to pick me up for a date and actually brought flowers was when i was 16 years old! 

Maybe I'm just a romantic, or maybe I'm just old fashioned...  Romance... chivalry... manners... they're all connected.  It shows respect for yourself and respect for your partner. 

Not as good as I thought it would... Where's my flying car?!  Where's my hover board??  If "the future" were based off of movies, we'd be beaming ourselves directly into each others living rooms... there would be no traffic!

But seriously, I really do like it.  We live in a world where you can access almost anything with the push of a few buttons.  Sure, we haven't cured cancer yet, or invented the flying car... but we have color tvs, hybrid cars, and our first black president.  Who'd have thought?!

My best friend drove down to visit me last weekend, and she couldn't have come at a better time!  I recently moved into a new apartment... (because that's what I do - I move! ...every year.)  and for some reason have had trouble adjusting this time.  I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm almost never home.  How can you make a place feel like home when you're never there?  I've barely unpacked - what's the point?  I'm just gonna have to pack it up and move again in another year!

Having my best friend here made me realize.... a home isn't four walls and a roof.  A home is where the people who love you are... it's a place that you feel comfortable.  When she left to go back "home" I felt like she took a part of me with her.  Although I loved having her here, I feel all the worse without her.  I'm homesick!! 

My own personal time capsule would reflect my life.  I would put in pictures of the places I've lived and the people I've loved.  I would put in a picture of the Twin Towers and the story of where I was and what I was doing when it happened.  I'd put in my journals though the years... so that my great grandchildren can see where I came from and where I ended up.  Who knows?  Maybe it would help my future descendents.... maybe they will have the same struggles that I had.  Even though
technology has changed the world, the human heart still craves the same things: love and acceptance...

Unfortunately I've been "Miss Debbie Downer" lately.  I have a roommate that is EXTREMELY negative, and I let her get to me.  We did an exercise at camp once.  One person stands on a chair, another person stands on the ground.  Both campers pull.  It illustrates the point: it's easier to pull someone down then pull them up.

I don't like being negative - nothing good ever comes from it!  So I'm attempting to boost myself back up.  I'm going to think about the positive things....

1. I have a new apartment that is absolutely gorgeous.
2. I'm healthy
3. I still have a job...well actually two.  As tired and overworked as I am, I'm still grateful.
4. My best friend is driving 8 hours to come visit me this weekend! :) :) :)
5. My mom and dad sent me an email and said they were proud of the woman that I've become. (Made me tear up a bit...)

6. I have 6 grandmothers that are living. Stay with me here... my mother's mom (Granny), mom's Grandma (Little Tiny Grandmom), my Dad's mom (Gammy), my stepdad's mom (Grandma Mary), my stepdad's stepmom (Grandma Gail) and my stepdad's grandmother (Nanny King).

7. Out of 32 grandchildren (on my mom's side), one of my cousins is having a baby.  That's my grandfather's FIRST great-grandchild.  Everyone's really excited.

8. Tomorrow is a brand new day

9. I have two health, adorable and well behaved dogs.

10. My car will be paid off in May

Ok... that was a little harder than I thought.  I need to flush out the bad and make room for the good.  I'm praying for happiness...for myself, my family, and all of my friends. (Even the friends I have yet to meet.)

Some people spend hours in the gym, trying to build their muscles and sculpt their bodies... I prefer to exercise my mind.  That's what I love about school!  It's a mental workout. 

I have a very curious mind... school feeds my curiousity.  Teachers don't always give you the answers, but they give you the tools you need to find the answers for yourself.  What could be better than that?

In high school I was an overachiever.  I was in the marching band (2nd chair flute), psychology club, spanish club, drama... I did indoor track, gymnastics, played softball (MVP sophmore year)... I was editor-in-chief of the newspaper, and organizations editor and head photographer for the yearbook.  I wanted to get as much as I could out of my high school experience.  I'd say mission accomplished! :)

Monique - French for "Monica"  ...meaning counselor or advisor.
But honestly, I got the name because my mother always like it... I only know 3 other Moniques and they go by "Nikki."  ...I was nicknamed Mona in high school and I like it, so it stuck.